ON FACEBOOK

Here, at the very beginning of my comments, I should say that I’m not a huge fan of Facebook. I know its avowed mission is to surround you, the user, with friends of your own choosing, and by your own postings on your own timeline (as it is called), keep them informed of what you want them to know about your life, and by reading what they’ve posted on their timeline, to learn what they want you to know about theirs. By the very act of becoming members, millions of users – is it billions by now? – seem to approve. After all, what’s there is all voluntary. But I find most of the information shared on Facebook to be pretty mundane and well, frankly, boring. Someone is in a particular restaurant, having lunch with someone else. Another friend is in an airport, waiting to go somewhere. Someone is celebrating a birthday (so I do get a chance to wish them a happy day). Someone is posting a photograph of their Christmas tree, or a sunrise (which I have done), or a grandchild, or their new kitchen or bathroom. There’s nothing wrong with this. I've done it myself, so I can hardly criticize. And these postings do keep me informed, perhaps more than I needed, or wanted, to be. So Facebook accomplishes what it intended.

Of course, Facebook is also a vehicle for advertising. How else could it make money? And I also must admit that I joined Facebook to announce the publication of my book, hoping to spread the word to my friends and encourage them to buy it. Is that not advertising? And I now (mostly) use my posts to advise my friends when I’ve written on one of my four blogs. Is that not advertising? Yes. It undoubtedly is. And are not my friends who see these messages as offended as I am when they have to wade through advertising, or my boring postings, to get to something perhaps more interesting that they really might want to know? The answer to that, too, is, yes, I’m sure they are. So an essential part of the Facebook phenomenon is undoubtedly our forced exposure to posts that encourage us to buy something, or read something, or go somewhere, and those that tell us of the mundane lives we all share. So despite my sometimes irritation at this reality and my not being a rabid fan, Facebook does serve its purpose. And is that a worthy one? Millions – or is it billions by now? – agree that it is. I’m sure there’s plenty of room for debate about that, but that discussion is for another time. And so, every morning, after I’ve checked my email, I go to Facebook to read these ads and to learn of my friends’ lives (or at least what they want me to know of them, which may be an entirely different thing). Is this not catering to our lowest common denominator, my yearning to hear and to be heard? Are we all that lonely?

But once in a while, there’s a posting on Facebook of (what I think of) as of a higher nature, something that really grabs my attention and provides information I consider a valuable contribution to my life. Like the time one of my acquaintances (not really a close friend, but someone I knew, like so many of my “friends” on Facebook) posted a laudatory comment about their satisfaction with meeting their weight-loss goals with the Medi-fast program. That post, my introduction to Medi-fast, which helped me to lose 40 pounds, changed my life. And this morning, I read on Facebook a post that really shook me up, that I thought was a real (in all senses of that word) contribution to my world.

There have been many times when I’ve felt guilty of not contributing more than I have to the LGBT movement. Oh, I’ve given money, been to benefits, donated photographs or dinners to be raffled off. All passive. I did publish (myself) a book that described my life, hoping that my experiences would have some positive effect on the world (if not on my pocketbook). But I was not a member of ACT UP and I’ve never testified in Annapolis in support of gay marriage. I’ve been, honestly, pretty passive. But this morning I listened to a posted video on Facebook of an Irish drag queen share her experiences of homophobia. That speech was so much more revealing, honest, brutal and moving than the words in my book that I was amazed at how she was able to portray in only a few minutes what it took me 70,000 words to only try to convey. And, at least from my perspective, with so much more impact.

 It seems that Panti Bliss appeared on a TV talk show in Ireland where she called an Irish organization, the Catholic Iona Institute, “homophobic” because of their stand against gay marriage. Iona sued the RTE network where Panti appeared and RTE paid a penalty of 70,000 pounds to settle the suit. In response, Panti appeared at the end of a play at the Irish National Theater where she spoke about homophobia and oppression in a way that surpassed in impact all the comments in all the books, and news articles and column inches I’ve read. She was truly amazing.

I shared the post on my own timeline with the hope that many of my friends on Facebook would react to it. Some of them may have  read it; Facebook doesn't provide a way to know that. But no one, not one, clicked on a “like” button, or the “comment” button, or the “share” button, which only proves to me that my friends, at least, are more interested in who’s eating where with whom, where someone is going or who saw a bird or had a spectacular Christmas tree. What a shame. I wish Facebook, my friends, and most of all I, were a little more active.

(If you want to hear Panti’s speech, go to www.pinknews.com.uk. That will take you to a Bing list of sites where you can choose pinknews.co.uk. Choose the “Trending Right Now” column on the right and click on the top story. If you’re like me, you’ll be glad you did.)