A famous architect, perhaps Mies, once said that "form follows function." I presume he meant that the shell that contains the essence should reflect that essence. I wonder how he'd feel about the Walt Disney Hall or the Guggenheim Bilbao. I think he'd say that while they may be fine inside and unusual outside, even beautiful, one does not reflect the other. How can you understand a music hall or museum from all that curving metal?
I have some (now former) friends, one of whom became upset about something I said about her in my book, accusing me of needing - note "need," her word, not mine - to reveal what she considered a secret. I honestly had forgotten she considered it a secret - it was almost fifty years ago - or never knew. Still, I apologized profusely, several times. She could have come directly to me and we might have hashed it out, as long-time friends do, but she chose, instead, to never speak to me again and to broadcast her displeasure, thus infecting others. Now a whole segment of my old social life has calved away, and I mourn the loss, even after more than eighteen months. In the course of my normal activities, I infrequently run into one of them - we traveled in a very incestuous circle - and they invariably turn away, in order to avoid me. It seems they've become so invested in the function of displeasure that they've forgotten the essence of friendship, those qualities that drew us to each other in the first place and held us together for so many years. Oh, they will say I've changed, that I'm no longer "fun" to be with, that I depress them. And I admit to having had a bad year, with several surgeries, and the episode about my book. But since the essence of friendship is support, I would ask of those who shun me now what they have done to help me be more cheerful.
I like Pope Francis. He's eschewed many of the forms of Christianity and seems to be focused on its essence. For me, that essence - indeed the essence of any form of worship - is love, and forgiveness. I wonder why my (former) friends can't follow his example..
Stay tuned.
I have some (now former) friends, one of whom became upset about something I said about her in my book, accusing me of needing - note "need," her word, not mine - to reveal what she considered a secret. I honestly had forgotten she considered it a secret - it was almost fifty years ago - or never knew. Still, I apologized profusely, several times. She could have come directly to me and we might have hashed it out, as long-time friends do, but she chose, instead, to never speak to me again and to broadcast her displeasure, thus infecting others. Now a whole segment of my old social life has calved away, and I mourn the loss, even after more than eighteen months. In the course of my normal activities, I infrequently run into one of them - we traveled in a very incestuous circle - and they invariably turn away, in order to avoid me. It seems they've become so invested in the function of displeasure that they've forgotten the essence of friendship, those qualities that drew us to each other in the first place and held us together for so many years. Oh, they will say I've changed, that I'm no longer "fun" to be with, that I depress them. And I admit to having had a bad year, with several surgeries, and the episode about my book. But since the essence of friendship is support, I would ask of those who shun me now what they have done to help me be more cheerful.
I like Pope Francis. He's eschewed many of the forms of Christianity and seems to be focused on its essence. For me, that essence - indeed the essence of any form of worship - is love, and forgiveness. I wonder why my (former) friends can't follow his example..
Stay tuned.
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